Monkey Boy

Casual Friday

While everyone else in South Africa had "Casual Friday" on the 7th Sept 2007 my web service providers had Fantastic Formal Friday. They're a bit weird:). What did I do...I went out for lunch and got Sloppily Sloshed.

Another Bank Robbery

I had an  issue with Standard Bank recently regarding household insurance on a home loan. In short I wanted it cancelled. It was eventually cancelled but they erroneously charged me 2 additional month premiums. When they returned the premiums I was informed "it is not company policy" to return the interest charged.

While the monetary value is not great is this not institutionalised theft? Interest charged is calculated on a daily basis on any funds withdrawn but cannot be returned? Or do they see this as a service charge for the inconvenience of rectifying their own mistakes.

Stay tuned.....

(Last Bank Robbery)

Can you love animals and eat meat?

I saw this cartoon on living Living Vegan today and liked it because it so neatly summarised the reasons why I became a vegetarian.....I am going to have to get out those vegan recipes soon.

The Frustrated Artist

Bored, frustrated...not sure what to do with you life....why not stick a farking, great shark through your roof. That's what Bill Heine a frustrated artist and radio presenter in Oxford, England did. To quote, "The shark was to express someone feeling totally impotent and ripping a hole in their roof out of a sense of impotence and anger and desperation… It is saying something about CND, nuclear power, Chernobyl and Nagasaki."

Anyhoo...Sharkie is almost 21 and is currently going through a refurbishment in preparation his upcoming party and this got me thinking...any one interested in sponsoring me to construct a fuggin, humongous Tyrannosaurus Rex rump to stick through my garage door in protest of the frustration that is

"Government Departments, Telkom, Banks, Insurers, Microsoft and any other big organisations who. even though we either voted them into power or give them trillions of hard earned dollars, think they can just ignore us and treat us like something the kids have tracked in on their shoes."

Facebook

Sorry...there is just no time to blog when you are facebooking.

McCartney's Pub and Grill

My parents have opened a Pub & Grill in Alberton called McCartney's. I was their were there wear their went along last weekend. Friday night was a disco and Saturday was the rugby (SA vs Australia). What a ball <wink>.

So if you're in the Alberton area pop in for a quick one (or two) and if you like to boogie to Kurt Darren's Loslappie DON'T miss the regular Friday Night Disco.

PS the picture is of my ear and Kelly's nose. Just to prove we went.

PPS the picture is from the rugby afternoon. The Friday night Disco pictures where destroyed to protect the innocent.

New Post????

Is he going to start posting again...probably not so...don't get all excited about the new look. I was looking for one of my old posts and realised I had no category content...so I did a bit of a redesign.

What useful and thought provoking info was I mining my blog for? The koala joke of course.

Text Messages

Can you SMS "The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human."?

Why would you want to? Well it is the 160 character phrase the Guinness Book of World Records sets to test claimants to the record for the world's fastest text'ers (sms'ers?). The current holder of the title is sixteen-year-old Ang Chuang Yang who managed the message in 41.52 seconds.

I guess with it taking me a good 1 minute 37 the other night to smash out a "Shorry l8. driNk pub" to the wife, I will have to go back into training before giving the Guinness guys a call.

Flogging a Dead Horse

Dakota Native American tribal wisdom, passed on from generation to generation, says:

"When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount and get a different horse."

However, in government, education and corporate Southern Africa, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declare that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.

BTW: No horses where harmed during the telling of this joke.

Amazing Whatcha-ma-gidget

Check out this knife. It was created by Wenger to celebrate 100 years of innovation. This unique special edition knife contains all 85 tools currently produced by Wenger (Maker of the Genuine Swiss Army Knife). These 85 tools can be used in over 100 functions and it's the World's Largest Swiss Army Knife. It's not exactly going to win any awards for lightest, smallest or most efficient tool but it probably will win you the title "King of All Gadgets". And even though this knife is a monster, weighing almost 3 pounds, don't worry - it does have a key ring so you can carry it on a belt loop.

• Contains an incredible 85 tools built into a single knife [list]    
• Manufactured by Wenger (Maker of the Genuine Swiss Army Knife)    
• Special edition knife, perfect for collectors    
• Weight: 2 lbs, 11 ounces    
• Dimensions: 8.75" wide    
• Lifetime warranty

There a full list of gadgets here.